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The Official AF Joke Thread

Funny stuff, spam, forum games, and other threads that aren't really discussion worthy - whore it up..!

Post Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:04 pm  Post Number:#631

Posts: 1515
Location: The Village

Two kids were walking along when one of the saw a rabbit and said to the other kid
"Look, it's the Easter Bunny"
and the other kid said
"And its laying chocolate eggs"
~~~ accept everything - Believe Whatever - TRUST NOTHING ~~~~
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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Never tell all you know...
Disclaimer: The opinions are my own. Nobody else wants them.


Posts: 30897
Three nuns die and are met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. "Before you enter, you must answer a skilled question." said St.Peter.

The nuns agree and St. Peter begins by asking the first nun, "Who was the first man on earth?"

"Oh , that's an easy one, that was Adam!" said the nun. With her answer the gates opened, the lights came on and the nun walked up the stairs.

St.Peter asked the second nun, "Who was the first women on earth?"

"Oh, that's an easy one, that was Eve!" said the second nun. With her answer the gates opened, the lights came on, and the nun walked up the stairs.

St.Peter asked the third and final nun, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"

The nun thought about the question for a long time, finally she shakes her head and replies, "That's a hard one".

And the gates opened, the lights came on...


Posts: 59
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Don't tell Olaf.


Posts: 1515
Location: The Village

Image
~~~ accept everything - Believe Whatever - TRUST NOTHING ~~~~
Image
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Never tell all you know...
Disclaimer: The opinions are my own. Nobody else wants them.

Post Fri Jan 06, 2017 12:44 am  Post Number:#635

Posts: 1515
Location: The Village

5 out of 6 people agree... Russian Roulette is completely safe.
~~~ accept everything - Believe Whatever - TRUST NOTHING ~~~~
Image
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Never tell all you know...
Disclaimer: The opinions are my own. Nobody else wants them.

Post Fri Sep 15, 2017 10:43 pm  Post Number:#636

Posts: 1515
Location: The Village

https://www.worthytoshare.com/a-crowded ... -cancelled

A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled.
A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk front. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I am sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: "May I have your attention, please," she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "F*** you!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that, too."
~~~ accept everything - Believe Whatever - TRUST NOTHING ~~~~
Image
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Never tell all you know...
Disclaimer: The opinions are my own. Nobody else wants them.


Posts: 1515
Location: The Village

Birthday Surprise Joke

Benny decided to buy a present for his Uncle Sam’s birthday, so with his older brother’s help he bought a present, gift wrapped it, and brought it over to his uncle. His uncle, knowing that Benny’s father manufactured apple juice, and seeing a wet spot on the bottom corner of the box, decided to have some fun with Benny by trying to guess what was in the box. “Hmm” said Uncle Sam, dipping his finger on the wet spot and taking a quick taste, “I’m going to guess it’s a case of apple juice.” “No” said Benny jumping up and down clearly enjoying the game. “Not apple juice?” Said Uncle Sam clearly surprised. After another quick taste and a brief pause he guessed again “is it apple cider?” “No,” said Benny practically squealing in excitement “IT’S A PUPPY!”
~~~ accept everything - Believe Whatever - TRUST NOTHING ~~~~
Image
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Never tell all you know...
Disclaimer: The opinions are my own. Nobody else wants them.

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